Kathryn Mertuil
You're a terrifying individual but we all worship you. You never got the chance to be a full-blown socialite because chances are you ended up in prison. But you probably ended up in jail for some really sexy and chic crime so that kind of eclipses the fact that you're a piece of shit.
I'm hoping it's something like punching a celebrity everyone hates in the face like Jonathan Cheban. But, it's probably something almost as sexy, like insider trading. On the bright side, you don't need your iconic cocaine necklace to stay skinny anymore because prison food is inedible. Also, you can continue pursuing your wild sex fantasies in prison because, after all, that place is a hotbed of sexcapades. You're so iconic that there's literally thousands of porn parodies based off of you (step-brother/step-sister porn was based off of Kathryn and Sebastian, TBH). Given your sexually liberal attitude and the fact that you bulldoze over men, Jezebel probably loves you. Sorry about that.
[Photo via @old.vibes]
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