Which On-Screen Socialite Are You?

Haven't hijacked a public scenario and made everything about myself since I showed up at Aretha Franklin's funeral wearing an even shorter dress than Ariana Grande. However, I did make the most pretentious socialite names list, so I guess that makes me a socialite. And a bunch of people in media have asked my boss if I'm real or if I write as a character using a pseudonym, so I guess that means I'm fictional.

Besides the period of your life where your mom kept you on a child leash and that time you got handcuffed for renting a moonbounce at Yankee Stadium without proper consent, you have lived a relatively unrestrained and uninhibited life. You're on the first name basis with the employees you frequent at all three Taco Bell locations on the UES as well as both the Pleasure Chest locations and they're your best friends. But still, you romanticize superficial relationships to compensate for your emotionally unavailability and that, compounded with using humor as a defense mechanism, makes you destined for crippling loneliness. You're somewhat shy but socially awkward and have a controversial sense of humor in certain situations, which is why your foot in mouth syndrome earned you the high school superlative of "Most Unaware Offensiveness." This description makes you sound totally insufferable, but that's not entirely the case. I mean, if you got fired from SoulCycle for being a threat to company morale, that means you don't completely suck, if anything.