Looking For Love In NYC? Dating Apps Are Out - Matchmaking Is In

Dating in New York has never been easy, but these days? It's a whole new game. I mean, how too close to home is the above Social Distancing Series piece by brilliant artist Side Dimes?

The likelihood of meeting someone out on the scene has just about disappeared, and scrolling the dating apps is like scraping the barrel of the same not-so-serious people. So where have all of New York's most eligible gone since the pandemic began?

Well boutique dating concierge service The Bevy has never been busier, with their business hitting an all time high since the pandemic! 

Curious why everybody's going the matchmaking route? We chatted with founders Greta Tufvesson and Nikki Lewis to learn a bit more about where love in the time of Coronavirus is trending.

How has the dating world changed since the pandemic?
It’s unreal to think of the dramatic changes we’ve seen in dating since March. The world sort of came to a halt – whatever pending dates existed were canceled. Since there was so much uncertainty at the beginning, most of our clients hit the pause button – restaurants were closed and people were really scared. It hardly seemed like the time to meet people. But a few months in, with no end in sight, people started to realize that this is the new normal and we need to adjust. We’ve seen it all – from virtual dates, outside drinks or walks, and even vacation dates! Anything goes now because people are eager to couple up. A pandemic really makes you think about how important it is to find love and hunker down with the right person. Otherwise, this can be a very isolating time.

How has your business specifically been affected?
I think there was a lot of unrest in the beginning for us – for all!  Could our business withstand a pandemic?  The first three months were very quiet, no one was really allowed to go out and meet new people and for good reason, clients didn’t want to date. But in June there was a noticeable shift. Our phones didn’t stop ringing! And they haven’t stopped since! Everyone is hungry for good, meaningful introductions after months of silence. With a looming and difficult winter in sight, our clients are really keen to take this seriously now more than ever; to find the right person to quarantine with. Thankfully, we have learned that our business – thanks in large part to technology and the need for human connection – will prevail.

Why do you think so many people have been drawn to the matchmaking route?
With matchmaking vs. online dating, you’re meeting dates much more mindfully. Each date has purpose and has been carefully selected for our clients. It’s such a time saver – no more swiping or doing deep digging. Especially now, it’s important to date mindfully and safely. With apps, you never know what you’re getting or how many dates that person went on that week. Casual kissing isn’t happening anymore, or at least it shouldn’t be, so it’s crucial to be selective during this pandemic. It’s not like anyone is meeting at bars anymore. Is there really any other more effective way to meet someone right now? 

What would you say are the pitfalls of the dating apps?
We don’t always hate on the apps. In fact, some of our friends have met their significant others that way. But the apps aren’t what they used to be. They’ve become so normalized and inundated with dishonest profiles or people who aren’t looking for the right things. What about all the time wasted on new pen pals who never want to make a plan? It’s draining to put in so much work just to see little or negative results. There’s always that amazing date that comes by and then you’re left scratching your head when you never hear from them again. It’s hard to focus when you have endless options at your fingertips. The apps and various tech innovations can complement your search for love, but it will never replace ‘in the flesh’ face-to-face interaction we all need. 

Have you changed how you're working with clients?
We used to thrive meeting every client in person. That has now changed. We take about 50% of our meetings with men and women virtually to start, opting to meet in person when possible. From a dating standpoint, many of our clients are working remotely and some have opted to leave the city, so they’re typically starting out with virtual dates. Our clients who have stayed put are all comfortable now to meet for drinks outside. We also help our clients plan the first date and pick the spot since that is now tougher to navigate, as well.

What’s your biggest piece of advice for people still looking to find love during COVID?
Don’t stop working at dating right now. It’s so easy to say “I’ll focus on this when the pandemic is over” but there’s no end in sight yet. As hard as it is to get out of your rut or peel yourself off the couch, you have to force yourself. Date responsibly and safely. It’s so much nicer to go through this with someone you love.

[Photo via @sidedimes]