Never. Turn. Thirty.

I didn't tell you to botox your entire body just so you never sweat, it's also because you are never allowed to age. Repeat after me: "I. Am. Twenty. Seven. Forever." Yes, you are in the sun 24/7, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to (gasp) get a wrinkle! And you should be at IGK once every two weeks bleaching your hair, so if you let a gray hair poke through, that's on you, you lazy bitch. Take collagen! Start juicing stem cells! Copy Miranda Kerr's skincare routine and diet! Eat Miranda Kerr's placenta! Kill Miranda Kerr and wear her as a skin suit! NEVER. FUCKING. AGE.

[Photo via @maggierawlins...who I got kicked out of a lingerie store with once because they were closing and she gave me advice on where to buy nipple pasties! Best friends are forever <3]

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