Westhampton May Be The Worst...But What About Hampton Bays?

Westhampton, Firsthampton, Worsthampton...call it what you like, it doesn't have the best reputation. But the reality is, the time you'd spend in traffic trekking all the way to Montauk can be better spent inebriated in a more westerly locale.-

We do realize that you may not quite be ready to branch into the Westhampton scene, so we'll start with just a baby step west: Hampton Bays. The locals are friendly, the beer is cheap, and Guest of a Guest has a plan to keep you drunk all day long.

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Starting Early...

The Boardy Barn

270 W Montauk Hwy Hampton Bays, NY 11946

Locals will tell you to dress appropriately for a trip to the barn, because by the time you leave you're guaranteed to be beer-soaked from the top of your cowboy hat to the bottom of your sandals. We know, you're probably thinking "what, does it rain beer there?" Almost. Animals of the party genus run amok in this spacious sand-floored hall, slamming $2 "Barn Brews," bought in bulk, and dancing to hits that bring us back to years of swinging our hips at high school dances. The Barn is your home for day-drinking debauchery; the line starts at around 3pm and most beer-soaked souls find their way home by sundown to sober up before the night's activities commence.

Good for: big groups, rowdy crowds, day drinking

Guest of a Guest suggests: get there early, equipped with: cash, an accepting attitude, and maybe one of those garbage-bag ponchos. And, as per the establishment's request, please don't wear an orange shirt. We don't want you confused with the staff.

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After sundown...

Drift Inn

63 Dune Rd East Quogue, NY 11942

- Don't be fooled, this is not your typical Inn. There are no rooms. They do not serve you breakfast. Their drinks are not classy, nor are they sipped at an oak bar. The original Drift Inn burned in the winter of ‘02, but the party continues at a nearby dock on Neptune Beach, located right along Dune Road. The Saturday night spot for the Hampton Bays/East Quogue crowd, Drift Inn is home to Boardy Barn's after-party, with doors opening at 10pm to an already-queued crowd. Like the Barn, expect a beer-spilling, 90's-rock-belting, t-shirt-and-cargo-shorts-wearing kind of crowd, just on a dock instead of in a barn.

Good for: all night parties, warm evenings, smokers and/or messy drinkers

Guest of a Guest suggests: bring a sweater and stick to lower-proof alcohols since this party runs for nearly 12 hours on Saturday nights

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Beach bums beware: aside from these couple of hot spots, the only thing moderately exciting in the area is the local 7Eleven...but let's be honest, nothing cures a Budweiser hangover better than a Slurpee.

[All Photos via Facebook]