Every week distressed people from around the world submit their most pressing questions to the New York Times Social Q’s column, hoping that the master of social etiquette over at the Times will be able to solve their issues. Some concerns are valid: how much is enough to chip in for a co-workers birthday; how to deal with a mother-in-law who has never sent her grandchild a gift, but more often they’re just completely absurd. From a pet-sitter who can’t keep a secret to a roommate with toenails so long they resemble claws, here are some Social Q’s submissions so ridiculous that they have to be true.