How To Become An Instagram Fit Chick

Let's face it: you're not the most relatable to your followers. Like yeah, I for one totally identify with you because I too am extremely good looking, have an amazing ass, and always appear to be experiencing everlasting bliss. But that's because I hit the genetic lottery and have a Xanax prescription from my...freelance psychiatrist. Your teenybopper followers in the Midwest (lol forgot that place existed) are gonna have a hard time identifying with a flawless chick who comes off as disciplined, euphoric, and #blessed. And for what it's worth, they're probably not going to relate to you any better once they find out that you have a debilitating crystal meth addiction, a digestive system that is shredded and ravaged by Fit Tea, diabetes from acai, and Stage Two skin cancer from all that fake tanning. Oh, and being a suspect in the murder of Miranda Kerr doesn't humanize you that much either. 

The solution? Claim you have a Netflix and Chipotle addiction! Obsess over how you wish Jennifer Lawrence can be your BFF! Call Chrissy Teigen your "girl crush" because she is totally the only one on the planet who is willing to openly admit to being lazy and liking Taco Bell! Tell people you're a huge nerd because you read Harry Potter! Say you love animals more than people and play with other peoples' dogs in front of the camera until their owners threaten a restraining order! Make a silly looking photo of your friend your #ManCrushMonday LOLZ! Show off that one stretch mark you have on your hip to your followers and be like "See? I have flaws too!" even though it's just an imprint from your underwear's elastic!

[Photo via @savmontano]