I took the day off from work this week to drink myself stupid in observance of an important anniversary, and that is the anniversary of Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian's breakup.
On Monday, July 6th, 2015, the mighty, mighty heart of romance stopped beating. Cause of death? Scott Disick's liver and wandering eye. Sorry if you thought I was talking about the Fourth of July, but if you think about it, Scott and Kourtney epitomize everything that is right about America. So maybe you're in the wrong for making the dangerous assumption that I conform to the mainstream celebrations of our great nation.
Scott and Kourtney have the greatest love story of all time. Romeo and Juliet? She was like, 12! The Titanic? I'm sorry, but I've never seen a Leonardo DiCaprio movie in my life, and I think I can count on one hand how many Oscar winning movies I've sat through. So lame. Disney movies? I say this as someone who has lost count of how many slutty Disney princesses she has dressed up as for Halloween: those movies are basically softcore Hentai.
While it has been glorious to see Kourtney's major glow up from the most demure of the Kardashian sisters to the bad bitch she is, it's been rather tragic to see Scott Disick's downfall. "I am a role model," he once bragged. "I am the American dream." Well, that was true at a point that seems like eons ago. He now parties like a poor man's Dan Bilzerian (and yes, it's rough to say that out loud), and it's a sorrowful sight to see. I mean, Bella Thorne? She doesn't even shower! Chloe Bartoli? Well, I can't really knock her because she liked a picture of my hair on Instagram once.
Let's take a look at some of Scott Disick's best moments to remember the man he once was, and the man he could be again.
[Photo via Getty]