A Boozable Feast: Plan My Parisian Bar Crawl

I'm heading off to Paris tonight. I thought I'd ward off any homesickness by "researching" some Gallic bars that resemble New York favorites while there.  And then decide they suffer by comparison.-

Really though, I have reason to fear comatose nightlife in the City of Light. So help me out by suggesting some NYC facsimiles described below. Or just any worthwhile place!

The Next [Insert Parisian Beatrice Inn Equivalent]: Beatrice Inn is still the standard-bearer for celebrity/model/upmarket hipster cool in New York despite closing down in 1958. Are Parisians as obsessed with crowning new bars The Next _______ as we are? Or is a Beatrice-style haunt--I've heard something about Le Montana--still going strong?

Doghouse Saloon: Because joining a throng of fauxialites as they spit on saloon-dwelling peasants would complete the trip. Actually, just tell me of any similar places in Paris so I can avoid.

Dive bar holdout: Something akin to Mars Bar or Lucy's or Sophie's: a ratty old-timer miraculously insulated from the gentrification at its doorstep. Ideally situation in Paris' East Village/LES equivalent (is that the Marais?). Bonus points for intimidating bathrooms, octogenarian barkeeps and Jeff Bridges sightings.

After Hours Dance Party:It's not Berlin, but I've gotta figure it's easier to see a DJ play through sunrise in any European capital than it is in New York. Might not be as fun without the chase though. Or synagogue setting.

Snooki-Approved Club: I'll be taking a day trip to Normandy, which is kinda famously on the shore. Have any Karma satellites staged their own Allied invasion?

Thanks and I'll report back once the jet lag subsides next week.