Our legal system tells pirate to walk the plank. Yoho! [Post]
Kelly Preston is preggers with John Travolta's next scientology baby. [NYDN]
Thunderdome is coming to Brooklyn! [Gothamist]
Eliot Spitzer may become a CNN pundit star. [NYMag]
Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger is moving to NYC; Current NYC matchmaking queen Janis Spindel thinks this is "disgusting." Maybe they should have a pimp-off. [NYDN]