Now you can "divorce with dignity." High fives for everyone. [NYDN]
In case you missed it, Mel Gibson is not a horrible person. Instead, he is a super-horrible person. [Radar]
Accused spy's sister dated diplomat's son. Convoluted! [Post]
New York is disgusting. There's no escape. [WSJ]
Also, NYC wants you to come here and get old. The WHO agrees. [NYT]
Lindsay Lohan's birthday might be way sad, because "there's nothing you can do with a monitoring bracelet and no money." Troof. [TMZ]