Which On-Screen Socialite Are You?

You have sent men to jail, you have nearly ruined marriages, you have broken up couples, and you have alienated the stepchildren of the guys you date, but at least you have great hair. You are a continually shitty person to your best friend and boyfriend who are far more interesting than you, but at least you have great hair. You have absolutely no personality. But thank God you will never have to dye your hair platinum as an attention seeking measure to make it seem like you have a personality because you already have really great hair. 

I can never understand what you're saying because you slur your words together and giggle at absolutely nothing, but it's not like you're saying anything worth listening to so I just nod and pretend to be interested when really, I'm just admiring that you have really great hair. From giving up a spot at Brown to giving someone cocaine that made them OD and die, you routinely make terrible decisions. But you know what? You still have great hair, and if you went to Brown, you probably would've clock in a lot of time at Meat Mansion and flunked out anyways. But at least you have great hair! Ask any politician, and they'll tell you having great hair and a trust fund will get you far in life. 

[Photo via @gossipgirll]