A Twitterific Breakdown Of NYC Prep From A REAL One, Ariel Moses: Round 5

NYC Prep, Episode 5: "The Overachievers"

Wondering why Ariel Moses' much awaited Twitterfic Round-up is a day late? No, she wasn't out partying it up with Kelli and PC again, but it's because everyone here (and across the country it seems), has caught a bad case of Gohan fever. Yes, that's right - Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan's bromance made me put Ariel's NYC Prep's tweets on the backburner for a day, and boy are we feeling the backlash.

After nearly forty (yes, forty!) direct messages on twitter, and countless other forms of scalding, she's begging me to put these up so people will get off her back. Who knew that her tweets have become your latest guilty pleasure? And that so many of you DVR the show to follow along? And this week certainly certainly was doozy - Devorah Rose giving the kids dating advice, stage moms filling up the screen, and enough pedophile references, we temporarily wondered if the show was a spin-off of To Catch A Predator.

In case you have absolutely NO idea what I'm talking about, let me give you some background: even though born and bred Upper East Sider Ariel Moses swore she would never watch the inane Bravo show NYC Prep, I somehow talked the Horace Mann and Columbia educated New Yorker into submitting herself to the incessant nonsense that is the Gossip Girl knock-off… 5 times now! Afterall, being a transplant, I could never fully understand what these kids are talking about (besides that they sound like absolute idiots…again… and again…and again). And what better way for Ariel to express her true feelings about the “real”ity show than on Twitter!

@arielilana it's that time again after missing last week..TWEETING #nycprep 10:18 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana city..how i've missed you..oh wait, i'm here #nycprep 10:18 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana is this camera man drunk? or is he as dizzied by camille as i am? #nycprep 10:19 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana PC = the OWNER of Op Smile #nycprep 10:19 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana this poor, poor college advisor is getting severely thrown under the bus #nycprep 10:19 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "Underexceeding" #nycprep 10:19 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana kelli wants to be a famous singer! #nycprep 10:19 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana To Catch a Predator..SOMEONE CALL To Catch a Predator #nycprep 10:20 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana you're interviewing your voice coach, kelli? really? reeeeally? #nycprep 10:20 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana this guy has severe red eye #nycprep 10:20 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana bringing up the mother was a bad idea? are you DATING him? #nycprep 10:20 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana omg the bag lady from central park is totally interviewing right now #nycprep 10:21 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana mini guitar!! praise jesus this is amazing #nycprep 10:21 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana HAHAHA YODELING! She could be the next Soulja Boy with those lyrics #nycprep 10:21 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana this guy is so creepy i cannot handle it. RUN KELLI, RUN GOOD WOMAN! #nycprep 10:22 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana omg this guy is the pedophile, nevermind. i am scared. maybe as scared as kelli. #nycprep 10:22 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana demonstrating?! he's gonna get naked!! #nycprep 10:22 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana yes kelli, that guy is HIGH #nycprep 10:23 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana taylor's life plan is to become a super star. great plan, super plan, what a good plan #nycprep 10:24 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana did she just demand fishnets? is this the episode for sexual predators? #nycprep 10:24 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana tay-tay, your mom likes screen time too much...dina lohan called, she wants her role back #nycprep 10:25 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana divorced parents symbol? pan to empty chair. #nycprep 10:25 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana if someone falls with these chairs, i will never make fun of this show again #nycprep 10:25 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana so awkward..so she put her finger up the dress. good plan. #nycprep 10:26 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana take 2! with non-crotchless panties! #nycprep 10:26 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana How to Become a Stripper 101 #nycprep 10:26 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana quit dance?! say it ain't so!! have we NOT seen Center Stage? #nycprep 10:27 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana dance school..regular school..love life..the Trifecta! #nycprep 10:27 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana the beautiful city..please don't show these people again #nycprep 10:28 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana pr or marketing or both or..or..omg so many decisions! #nycprep 10:29 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana i know you don't care about other's opinions, but would you consider not being on tv so much? just take it into consideration #nycprep 10:29 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana i am going to start a tally of Op Smile references #nycprep 10:30 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana omg her mom songs like a gremlin #nycprep 10:30 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana she wants to go to FIT? Shocker. what a shocker. #nycprep 10:30 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana does jessie have tattoos? "truth" and a heart? irony..#nycprep 10:31 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana guess where FIT is jessie, NYC. your mom won't miss you too much. #nycprep 10:31 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "you booked an appointment" WITH YOUR MOM. shoot yourself. #nycprep 10:31 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana sebastian is back and picking up girls! girls from private school! #nycprep 10:31 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "100% attention at dinner" = my ideal date #nycprep 10:32 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana he probably called a lot of other girls before you, chica #nycprep 10:32 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana did the Bravo producers call this chick? she seems confused as to why she's there...#nycprep 10:32 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana really? california? what gave that away!? the hair? oh right..the hair..#nycprep 10:33 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "Girls in the city see me as the french guy, so i try to be french, it always works" WIN!! #nycprep 10:33 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana So Seb wants to speak french to people that do not speak french. good plan. #nycprep 10:33 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana aww ice skating with Cole..and Bryant Park tents..cute. #nycprep 10:34 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana what is with this rap music? #nycprep 10:34 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana he just called you a ho, taylor #nycprep 10:34 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana it's really hard to cuddle with someone while ice skating buddy #nycprep 10:35 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana jessie and camille are meeting. get ready for a cat fight! by cats, i mean wonk-eyes #nycprep 10:35 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana did she just try and sit on the opposite side of the table? really?! #nycprep 10:35 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana your own community? where's that? space? #nycprep 10:36 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana she does the fashion? wait - seriously, does jessie like fashion? #nycprep 10:36 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana Jessie, YOU are not Operation Smile. #nycprep 10:37 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana Jessie needs to be with her guys friends, cause they're just her friends..she's a guy #nycprep 10:37 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana jessie is gonna kick camille's ass #nycprep 10:37 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana let's compare our schools..they have earth day off, they have time for parties..i want to go to there. #nycprep 10:38 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana where can i get these records, jessie? #nycprep 10:38 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "if you don't do the work, you will fail" well said, jessie. nice to see you understand education. #nycprep 10:38 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana next up: taylor's mom rips her a new one #nycprep 10:38 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana the plastic is louder than jessie's voice..#nycprep 10:41 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana PC! what a surprise! #nycprep 10:41 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana why is pc british? and why is jessie bragging about not using her phone? #nycprep 10:42 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "my biggest problem this week was that my tux wasn't tight enough. that's when you know things are good" recession friendly! #nycprep 10:42 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana keep eatin' those chips jessie, keep it up! #nycprep 10:42 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana i would like to explain quotas to these kids- that isn't how college acceptance works kiddos..#nycprep 10:43 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "if you're obnoxious then you're not boring" "what are you?" "entertaining!" #nycprep 10:43 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana susan was going to adopt pc until he called her a bitch #nycprep 10:43 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana PC just did the Thizzle face #nycprep 10:43 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana incest AND pedophilia in ONE episode - you can't make this shit up! #nycprep 10:44 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana ok we went from park ave to 5th ave. classy. #nycprep 10:44 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana this woman just fell out of 1984 #nycprep 10:44 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana Michael Jackson reference..don't taint the King #nycprep 10:45 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana ahh Kelli, my how the tables have turned..you are now the interviewee, grasshoppa #nycprep 10:45 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana this woman definitely doesn't like wire hangers either..i can feel it #nycprep 10:46 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana think i can get her to come sing for a Yankee game? she has practice, right? what about a bocce ball tournament? #nycprep 10:46 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana Kelli..EXCLAMATION POINT!..BOOM! #nycprep 10:47 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana i will now only refer to her as Kelli! #nycprep 10:47 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana this is the 3rd time taylor's mom has been on screen #nycprep 10:47 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana whatever tay- it's only public school, remember? #nycprep 10:48 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana can't you see, she just wants to DANCE! #nycprep 10:48 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana next up: PC unbuttons his shirt #nycprep 10:50 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana PC likes fashion, which is probably why he and Jessie are friends. She likes fashion too, in case you didn't know. #nycprep 10:53 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana PC on metrosexuality: it's always about their style. and yes, you seem metrosexual. #nycprep 10:53 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana a psychiatrist with your best interests in mind wouldn't allow the reality show cameras in the room, PC #nycprep 10:56 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana he's over everything, remember? PC "Work Hard, Play Hard" Peterson #nycprep 10:57 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana what does he do on weekends? "sex, drugs, and rock and roll"..and yes he goes to Dune. and climbs into GofG Suvs..#nycprep 10:57 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana his bracelets look like Jogo by Pooneh #nycprep 10:58 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana really PC, cause i definitely saw you out this weekend..don't front! #nycprep 10:58 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana Park Ave..again! who is doing Park Ave's pr- they need a high five #nycprep 10:59 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana omg someone hire this girl so she will SHUT UP about fashion #nycprep 10:59 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana new rule: no more scarves jessie. no more scarves. #nycprep 11:00 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana of course they're asking her to get coffee- she's a teenager #nycprep 11:00 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana Jessie's Mom- cover letters are supposed to be focused on the designer. and you just mispronounced Gilles. #nycprep 11:01 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana you have so much time to walk across the street with your mama #nycprep 11:02 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana sunglasses in the rain! #nycprep 11:02 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana all right, i'll be honest- i like everything PC has worn this episode #nycprep 11:02 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana DEVORAH! #nycprep 11:02 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana manual labor? you moved chairs. MOVED CHAIRS. #nycprep 11:03 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana he is trying to pick up the model.."sex, drugs, rock and roll!" #nycprep 11:04 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana HAHAHAHAHA the lamp fell out! hahahahahaha #nycprep 11:04 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana oh no, he's close to her chacha #nycprep 11:05 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana don't peek, but let's allow the cameras to peek.. #nycprep 11:05 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana Devorah says ask her out- DO IT TO IT. #nycprep 11:05 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana omfg Devorah. genius. #nycprep 11:06 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana a homoerotic photo shoot! #nycprep 11:06 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana you are getting picked up, PC #nycprep 11:07 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana you slapped his ass! this is incredible! #nycprep 11:07 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "Guest of a Guest don't bring guests!" @guestofaguest #nycprep 11:11 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana you know what my advice is? just jump on the table, that'll show your passion, jess #nycprep 11:12 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana who is this guy? i love him. #nycprep 11:12 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana ok that's two nudie things jess- no one wants to see you expose yourself or become a hooker #nycprep 11:13 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana that girl that said she's a people person sounds like she's dead #nycprep 11:13 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana ok jess, again- don't give anything up..KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON. #nycprep 11:13 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana "24 / 7 is my two favorite numbers" #nycprep 11:13 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana next week: PC is a diva, Jessie thinks only girls in the front row, PC calls her fat, Seb still has hair, Kelli isn't a back up #nycprep 11:14 PM Jul 21st from web

@arielilana overall: this was a show for pedophiles, Park Ave is the only place people live, and it is ok to bring cameras anywhere #nycprep 11:15 PM Jul 21st from web

Wow. And we thought nothing could be better than Kristian Lalibarte's cameo in the premiere episode. Looks like we were wrong. Devorah dominated those 12 16 year-olds in the dating advice department. So what could top that? Oh, oh! We know! The fact that PC Peterson and Baron Hilton were out partying together all last week. Those two are practically inseperable. Everywhere Ariel goes it seems, there they are. The Gramercy Park Hotel last Wednesday. The Dune parking lot in the Hamptons on Friday, bumming cigs off Team GofG Hamptons and their friends. And she even chatted it up with PC at the Bridgehampton Polo on Saturday. Looks like even with a cast on his arm, PC's able to keep up with his "sex, drugs & rock n' roll"... and new bestie Baron Hilton. Bets on Baron being the next cameo? We'd love to see Ariel's tweets on that one. And make sure to follow her at @arielilana every Tuesday for her Twitterific tweet round-up of NYC Prep!