A Twitterific Breakdown Of NYC Prep From A REAL One: Ariel Moses

by CARSON GRIFFITH · June 24, 2009

Even though born and bred Upper East Sider Ariel Moses swore she would never watch the inane Bravo show NYC Prep, I somehow talked the Horace Mann and Columbia educated New Yorker into submitting herself to the incessant nonsense that is the Gossip Girl knock-off. Afterall, being a transplant, I could never fully understand what these kids were talking about (besides that they sounded like absolute idiots... am I allowed to say that about 16 year olds?). And what better way for Ariel to express her true feelings about the "real"ity show than on Twitter!

C'mon guys! Of course! Her tweets just progressively get better as she gets more and more aggravated at the inaccuracy of the prep school portrayal and the... "characters". We're almost satisfied with the tweet-up, Ariel. Almost. But you left what could potentially be the most important part of this ENTIRE episode out: The cameo by Kristian Lalibarte.

But let's not be too hard on the guy for associating with the NYC Prep crew. Maybe he's always wanted to make an appearance on a Bravo reality television show. I know I have. Unfortunately, I don't make it over to New Jersey enough to try to get on set with Theresa, Danielle and the rest of the Real Housewives. Drats. Now, let's get down to business. And scene:

@arielilana people that look bad within first 2 minutes? Barney's &
Bendells#nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana you can PAY to get into schools? why don't you announce
that on tv, fool.#nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana these kids live alone? move over alex & simon- these guys
need to write a parenting book! #nycprep about
3 hours ago from web

@arielilana chinese food + upper east side = archeological FIND!
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana Who checks their SAT on their blackberry? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana ok new plan: get arrested, do hours that way#nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana oh no taylor..PUBLIC SCHOOL? get ready for the rocks to be
thrown at you.#nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana ok vanessa- wannabe. shut up, sit on the train. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana trying on clothes for a guy = great first date. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana "i'd rather hook up with as many girls as i want" fail. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana MORE downtown? someone's gonna get mugged, guys! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana #nycprep "what are your hobbies" who the HELL talks like this?!
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana everyone on #nycprep is ugly. everrryone!
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana why do they have the fat girl on #nycprep putting on clothes at blue & cream?
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana "i wear clothes that are less than $20 sometimes" "that's so downtown" GROSS #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana this girl has a wonk eye and thinks there's a gossip site about her? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana I JUST PEED IN MY PANTS LAUGHING ..stop tainting the Mina name #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana #nycprep camille is QUITE the looker..almost as good as jessie!
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana get out of my hamptons town, PC #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana did she just call you gay, pc? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana careful pc, she's gonna eat you if you don't leave with her #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana oh you met REALLY cool business oriented people there, jessie! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana please let there be good commercials..please let there be good commercials..#nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana ah! a puffy vest, so stylin', pc! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana "you could be marrying your dad right now" WHERE DO THESE KIDS GO? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana "i'll get to know her..biblically.." #nycprep oh you don't like breakfast? not at sarabeth's? you SUUUURE pc?!
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana she won't go to STK pc!! she won't ! it was on Gossip Girl! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana are they in The Children's Place right now getting tights? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana from now on, i want everyone to refer to each other like that "he has hair that goes..like that" #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana divorced!? in nyc?!?! SHUT YOUR FACE! get out! no way! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana ok lady, you let your 15 year old on this show, stop acting concerned - game's over! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana really? you've been doing it for a while together? that's what she said. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana ahhh another gay insinuation- good job! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana french? so sexy. you must go to private school. oh wait, this bitch doesn't speak french, does she? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana oh wow- "He's Just Not That Into You" called, they want their plotline back. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana all partied out? you are 13. stop thinking about being a dad. wait for your balls to drop, chest hair..something! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana ahh cafe 212, old stomping ground. by old i mean- they're still having underage kids there? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana he's upset that you brought the ugly one to the date, kelly. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana "tell me about operation smile" oh you are a regular Hearst wannabe giiirl! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana good, insult the restaurant's food that's serving you underage. high five! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana pc definitely saw Charlie's Angels too many times. Blowfish? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana you are probably grounded for being stupid. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana yes pc, we know you take ritalin, drink a lot, have house parties, and pretend to sleep with lots of girls #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana "i don't see the point in dating"..."so i'm going to see the fat girl" #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana she's going to set him up with grown ups. hey social circuit- get ready! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana he doesn't want you jessie, he doesn't want you, and he has a snapping problem. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana look, everyone has their naomi campbell moments. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana next up: freezing cold 13 year old holding a phone! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana speaker phone on the street? ruuuuuude! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana you can't look at hi, he's on the phone, fool #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana the camera man in this scene must've LOVED you, pc #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana whenever i go to columbus circle, i have a fanny pack! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana ok , i won't date a 13 year old, promise. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana "you're gonna buy drugs, you're gonna go to clubs, and you're gonna get recked" #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana THIRD BASE!!! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana wait..are the drinks virgins..or you? #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana SOMEONE DIES ON NYC PREP? jesus christ. #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

@arielilana someone dies, but jessie has a credit card! #nycprep
about 3 hours ago from web

l@arielilana last tweet of the night- cause i missed the beginning- "in new york, money flows like the wind" good recession-friendly quote.
about 2 hours ago from web

@arielilana ok nevermind- actual last tweet: #nycprep is a game of 20 Questions. wise words..from me.
about 2 hours ago from web

I'm not sure if Ariel will be willing to subject herself to another hour of this mind-numbing nonsense next week (and I'm not sure I can do it either), but if so, I'm hoping I can convince her to hop back on her Twitter for another all out tweet-sesh between 10pm - I hope my power goes out (EST).