Double Vodka Red Bulls
Seriously, how are you still alive and breathing? Double vodka Red Bulls are something you give up by the time you're 25 at the latest. Or they're probably something you should have given up earlier because the last time you drank DVRBs, you ended up getting a tattoo of your birth sign on your lower, lower, lower, lower abdomen. Your world is straight out of a TECH N9NE song, and unsuspecting and innocent people are just living in it. You probably are a total trainwreck whose had more frat boys' d*cks out for than Harambe ever did (R.I.P.). Bouncers like you because they think you're funny to talk to while you're outside smoking a pack and a half, but they probably don't find you as charming when they throw you out. Bartenders have mixed feelings about you because while you're a loyal customer, sometimes you're so drunk you forget to tip.
[Photo via @studentlifestyle.inc]
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