Wine
You describe yourself as a total Charlotte, as if classifying yourself as a SATC character is still a thing (it's not, BTW). The craziest you got tonight was when your voice got a little too loud when you were talking about how pearl-clutching the Big Little Lies finale was. No seriously, we're not using this as an expression because you literally clutched the pearls you were actually wearing that complemented the pearls of your J. Crew cardigan. Your idea of a slutty outfit is wearing a shoulder-baring Lilly Pulitzer number without a coordinating cashmere sweater wrapped around your shoulders (gasp!). You probably didn't even go beyond your Upper East Side pregame tonight, and you probably cringed when we just said "pregame." You don't partake in drinking games, except when you take a swig of wine every time you want to pretend that you find the Masters interesting.
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