Craigslist Gem: 4.5 Foot Sword For Sale, Only Hot Single Men Need Apply

Sometimes guys treat you bad. Sometimes, they treat you bad, and leave their shit at your house. Now, a girl on the Lower East Side is fighting back: she's selling her ex's sword on Craigslist.-

This is probably the best Craigslist find we've seen in a long time. The listing is posted in the for sale/wanted section, under "collectibles'. After reading the posting, we basically want to be best friends with this girl.

The post starts:

"I have a very large sword sitting around in my apartment. Some idiot boy left it in my apartment and it's been here for 2 weeks."

Love that she doesn't bother to explain why the idiot boy brought a 4.5 foot sword to her apartment in the first place.

"He was supposed to pick it up today, but accidentally "double booked" his dates tonight. I wonder if the other person he's out with tonight has a nicer sword of his?"

I feel like we're missing a good opportunity for sexual innuendo here, but anyway.

"Was going to leave it outside, but figured I'd at least sell it so I can take myself and my roommate to a decent dinner for having to babysit this stupid thing."

"Babysit"? That implies actual work, besides just having it take up space. What did you guys do, polish his sword? Oh! There's the innuendo we were looking for!

"I'm not well versed in swords, but it's pretty big and heavy and looks like it costs a lot. If anything, you could totally sell it for scrap metal."

People still sell things for scrap metal?

"You'll need to come pick it up because I'm not carrying a giant sword around the city."

Preach.

"For 100 bucks it's yours. I'll also consider a trade for a nice dinner date with a hot single guy in his mid-late 20s. I'd prefer that he's not the one interested in the sword."

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world where an old man who's been meaning to be adding to his sword collection comes across this ad and sets this girl up with his amazingly hot grandson?

If you're interested in purchasing the sword (really?) go HERE. If you're interested in dating this girl, go HERE.