You're too sophisticated for body shots, too old for keg stands, and have too much dignity to stand on line with all the basics at Tipsy Scoop. But just because you're a classy, mature-ass bitch doesn't mean you're relegated to martini glasses and stemware! So what does a hottie like yourself turn to when it's time to get turnt?
Behold, Tito's infused vodka cordials. Also known as vodka infused chocolate. Don't pretend like you know what a cordial is.
Are you PMSing? Tryna get rude and nude? Attempting to aid digestion, prevent arthritis, reduce the risk of heart disease (vodka cures those things!)? Vodka infused chocolate is perfect for ameliorating any and all of those situations! So that means it's pretty much the new coconut oil, right? Pretty sure that how healthy elixirs work.
You can get Tito's chocolates (I refuse to call them cordials because I am not a pretentious douchebag) from Sugarfina here as a gift from you to yourself, or for others because sharing is caring and totally not a means to manipulate someone into becoming your minion and doing your bidding, you brilliant bad bitch!
[Photo via Sugarfina]