Claire's Is Declaring Bankruptcy, Former Preteens Everywhere Weep

First Kitson goes bankrupt, then AIM goes kaput, and now Claire's is basically dunzo. Are they trying to kill bringing back the early aughts before bedazzled Sidekicks and a remake of The O.C. even happen?

That's right, Teenybopper Tiffany's is planning to file for bankruptcy because they're $2 billion in debt. I'm guessing that's similar to when I text my dad the Michael Scott "I declare bankruptcy!" gif and he gives me money. They're planning on transferring ownership of the company to their creditors. I don't really know what that means because, as I mentioned before, I don't know how the economy works completely. But I don't think it's a good thing. 

Where are we going to practice shoplifting for the first time after smoking weed in the mall parking lot in the back of an 11th grader's 1996 Pontiac? Where are we going to get piercings that are administered by barely legal girls who are not edgy enough to work at Hot Topic, but too edgy to graduate from an accredited four year university? Where are we going to buy jelly bracelets to show off which sex acts we have performed at shitty parties and school dances based off the colors we're wearing? 

We can only hope that Claire's will make a comeback, but until then, we're going to have to patronize Urban Outfitters, or, if we're above intermingling with NYU freshmen, the Etsy shops of girls who are saving up for Coachella after wasting their savings on tickets for Fyre Festival.

[Photo via @claireseurope]