I'm Sorry But Priyanka Chopra & Nick Jonas Are The World's Most Boring Couple

In case you missed it, Priyanka Chopra, one of India's biggest stars and a groundbreaking actress on American TV screens, just wed Nick Jonas, star of Camp Rock and Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam. Now, don't get me wrong, their lavish Indian wedding sounds glamorous and sure, they're a beautiful couple. But I just can't bring myself to care about them. Why? Because they're boring.

I don't know, maybe I'm cynical. Or maybe it's because I came of age in the early 2000s when the celebutantes I idolized were doing absolutely batshit crazy, headline-making stuff every other day. I'd even take a nice redemption angle here, but if you Google either of them plus the term "troubled past," absolutely nothing juicy reveals itself. What gives?!

According to a recent interview in Vogue, their flirtation began with a DM back in 2016, after Nick watched an episode of Priyanka's network FBI drama, Quantico, and became quite smitten. They texted for months before finally meeting at the Vanity Fair Oscars party last year. What followed were a series of respectable dates - drinks at the Carlyle, baseball games, et al. - before an engagement and happy ending. BORING, see what I mean? Like, almost too perfect.

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And forever starts now... ❤️ @nickjonas
A post shared by Priyanka Chopra (@priyankachopra) on Dec 4, 2018 at 4:36am PST

Where is the drama? Where are the on-again, off-again rumors? Where is the drunken, passionate PDA?! The only thing even remotely gossip-worthy about this relationship is the fact that Priyanka is 10 years older than Nick, but pointing that out is inherently misogynistic because male movie stars ALWAYS marry younger women and no one bats an eye. So I won't even acknowledge this.

One could argue that these two saved all the drama for their nuptials, which, naturally, they sold to People like two has-been country singers or Dancing With The Stars contestants. It was colorful, traditional, and featured a 75-foot-long veil and 18-foot-tall cake - extra in all the ways their romance has decidedly not been.

I wonder if I can rent out Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas' wedding cake on AirBnB.

JK! As if I could afford a night's stay in that house. pic.twitter.com/ywHn58bWZP
— Hanna "Noble Warrior Hero" Flint (@HannaFlint) December 4, 2018

Who knows? Maybe their marriage will be exciting. Or, as The Cut pointed out, maybe it is just one big marketing ploy. Albeit, again, a very bland one.

[Photo via @priyankachopra]