"Best $2k I Ever Spent!" Jerseylicious

Oh dear lord, another Jersey-based reality show had their premiere party last weekend. Except this cast is older, tanner, and if you can believe it, a little more sloppy. And some of the cast members make Snooki look downright demure. -

Jerseyliscious takes place in the Gatsby Salon in New Jersey, where "big hair meets big attitudes" or something. The premiere party was held at LUA (did the Real Housewives Of New Jersey go there once? Am I just imagining?), where the cast watched the first episode and took their first, shaky walk down the step-and-repeat.

This is Tracy. According to the website, "sparks usually fly whenever this 'gansta at heart' is around." We can imagine.

This is Gayle. She owns the salon, and has been married three times.

On the right is Gigi, who wants to get back together with her boyfriend, or something. On the left is a girl who isn't on the show, possibly because her HEAD is a totally different color than her BODY.

I literally got the shivers when I saw this photo.

Tracy can you like, wait til you get off the step and repeat to drink? No? K.

Seriously, these guys make the cast of the Jersey Shore look like press pros. Fix your boobs AFTER they take the picture, lady!

So poised! Can we get some wranglers for these guys? Or...stylists?

Yep, time to put her in a cab.

Her too.

Oh god, they're a mess! A mess!

Missing from the premiere party? The show's resident drama queen, make-up artist Olivia, aka SNOOKI'S LONG LOST TWIN.

Jerseyliscious airs on Sunday nights on the Style Network.