"Best 2K I Ever Spent!" Burning Questions At Goldbar

by SUSANNAH LONG · April 12, 2010

Goldbar was snapping and crackling this week. There may have been some popping as well. Mia Moretti, Sinatra, DJ Theory, and others played, while the spinners, dancers, and sitters raised intriguing questions. . .-

Among the other djs were Price, Kid Cudi, and Penny & TarinSkillets. We like Goldbar, if only because the name is really literal, it's really gold inside, and there are skulls on the walls that remind us of The Phantom comic strip. That's a homerun.

Unfortunately, these photos pose more questions than they answer. Deep questions. Like freshman philosophy deep.

Don't we know you from high school?

Where is your hand?

This is self-explanatory.

Are you attempting to set up a dirty-sailor Pieta reboot?

Where can we learn to duplicate your sass?

How far?

Dude, did you fall asleep while flashing a V? Other fella, you kiss your mother with that mustache?

Is that envy or disgust, bespectacled girl?

Where does one purchase such skulls, anyway?

Which one is less into this special moment?

What's your number, handsome scrunch-faced stranger?

If both of you were trapped in a bunker and there was only enough oxygen for one, who would crack first and kill the other to survive?

Is he inhaling?

How have you escaped the weird-pose scourge?

Are you Rider Strong from Boy Meets World? Can we pretend you are? Did you and Cory ever hug really, really hard because you were just so lonely? Have you seen "Y Tu Mama Tambien"?