Candidate #4
Name: SBE/Sam Nazarian &
Brent Bolthouse
Qualifications: They're businessmen, and that means that the right opportunity trumps all, and we think the Dodgers could be that opportunity. After all, short of adding the letters "SBE" to the front of the Hollywood sign, there's not much else in this town they haven't plastered their names across, and if any creaky old L.A. institution is (at least in their eyes) in need of a "dynamic re-imagining," it's probably the home town team.
Upside: Well, they've got the cash and the connections, so they could probably start selling out tickets right away. Some cross-promotional drink specials could work, and you just know there'd be an exclusive liquor lounge somewhere down the first-base line with artisan cocktails and sultry mood lighting. And the army of enormous bouncers might actually keep the place safe, for once.
Downside: Then again, it's just as possible that the whole stadium could be
SBE-ified. Picture purple velvet seats, laser lighting distracting the hitters, 15-minute DJ intros to at-bats, $20 hot dogs, and a valet-parking situation that would make getting out of the parking lot ten times more difficult than it is already. They might even decide that the actual baseball game is a waste of resources and just turn the whole thing into a club called "Stadium." You know what? I'm really sorry I brought this up, let's just drop it.
Odds: (if there is a God) 3,000,000,000,000,000-to-1
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