Who Should Be The Next Owner Of The Dodgers? Our Top 5 Choices

Candidate #2

Name: Snoop Dogg Qualifications: Aside from being one of the most likable crossover stars to ever emerge from hip-hop, Tha Doggfather is a True Blue Dodger fan. You may not have ever heard this, because rappers never talk about where they come from, but he's actually from Long Beach, California, thus meeting Mayor Villaraigosa's completely unenforceable proclamation that the next owner must be a local. And Snoop doesn't just love the Dodgers, he loves sports, meaning that he'll be perhaps a little more invested in the day-to-day than a certain white-haired mansion collector. And haven't we been waiting for someone to call Jamie McCourt a "trick-ass ho"? Upside: In a revolutionary move, Snoop announces the "Smoking Section," an 18+ sectioned-off area of the outfield bleachers where each ticket includes a doctor's note about your insomnia, a pack of Zig Zags, and a gram of Bubba Kush OG. Not only does this massively increase ticket sales (and concession sales) among young people, but it actually makes 4-1 mid season National League baseball games interesting. Anchored by new acquisition Tim Lincecum, the Dodgers barnstorm their way to a World Series title. Downside: Snoop's had a great career, but I'm not sure he has a billion dollars to drop on a baseball team. And if he needs to look into his network for financing, there's always the possibility that Suge Knight will get involved, which could ultimately mean that Dodger Stadium becomes even more of a lawless, hellish, post-apocalyptic wasteland than it is already. Odds: 75-to-1 [photo via]