Ron Artest Was The Least Crazy Person Outside Playhouse, Breaks Up Brawl

The thing about Ron Artest is it would be very difficult for him to shock us. The man has physically assaulted fans, shaved incredibly misspelled words into the back of his head, and made the single greatest Michael Jackson tribute song of all time, just for starters. So what can a guy with that track record do to actually surprise people? Well, he could play the peacemaker and break up a drunken brawl. Wait, what?

Yes, Ron Artest, the same Ron Artest whose largest concern after going into the stands to attack fans was the effect of beer in his eyes, found himself in the unlikely position of pacifist this weekend—where else?—on Hollywood Boulevard. As TMZ first reported, Artest was leaving Playhouse when a drunken man and woman began to attack each other right next to him. And though, with a million dollars to bet, I would have wagered that Ron-Ron might just beat the holy hell out of both of them and carry on his way, that's a million dollars I would have lost. Roll the tape, TMZ:

As the video clearly shows, Ron was the supreme voice of reason here, calmly separating the fighters (if not entirely diffusing them) before getting in his vehicle. A few questions, though.

Firstly, who are these people, and what in God's name was so important to fight over that a 6'7", 260-lb basketball player with a reputation for attacking regular sized people couldn't get you to completely break it up? I don't know about you, but unless the guy I was fighting burned down my parents' house or something, I can't really fathom ignoring Ron freaking Artest standing there and continuing to attempt to fight.

And secondly, can you wear shorts to Playhouse now? Because that's apparently what Ron-Ron just did, based on his outfit in this video. Is this one of those "just because you're famous" things, where Ron can wear flip-flops and shorts to the club but I can't? They call that a double standard, you know, and it's not cool. Not cool at all.

But hey, maybe when his playing days are over (are they over, Lakers fans?), Ron has a future in conflict mediation. You know, if that whole rapping thing doesn't pan out. Would you ignore him?

[top photo via, puppies via:]