When Beloved L.A. Landmarks Get The SBE Treatment

Where oh where could this photo have been taken? Let's see... we have bottle sparklers burning indoors (bravo, guy with one in his mouth) and bros in button-downs dancing, er, presiding over their territory surveying their targets like watchful falcons atop banquettes, so this is definitely a nightclub. But what's with those white shutters? What kind of L.A. club boasts a totally misguided attempt at a beachy, east coast-ish vibe? Oh, that's right, Colony! But this is not Colony. This isn't even in Hollywood. It's the west side. No, not West Hollywood. This is Gladstone's. Yes, that Gladstone's, the beach-side seafood restaurant on the border of Santa Monica and Malibu that's been there forever. It's been SBE-ified in case you're wondering why it looks like a Persian bar mitzvah.

No, really....

You know what this means, right? Not even the west side is safe from SBE's unmerciful reach. Comprende, Dogtown? Evidently, not even an evil, powerful force such as the 405 is strong enough to stand in the path of Sam Nazarian's imperial conquests in his ultimate mission to turn the world into Las Vegas.

So instead of the once family-friendly, weekend seafood lunch spot designation it enjoyed since the '70s, it has become summer Sundays at XIV-West.

Fog machine? Check. Colorful laser lights? Check.

Blue drank + a two-fer = success.