Miss The Golden Globes? Catch The Play-By-Play Of Everything Worth Seeing

[Avatar for the win]

The Golden Globes! The glitz the glamour! I will admit, it's been years since I've watched an entire awards show. But last night, my bff and I just couldn't resist watching the Globes (it was them or another episode of The Bad Girls Club). Thankfully Goldenfiddlr has composed these handy screen-shot jpgs to help all of you that missed the show. Relive what our convo went like during the awards. Let's start from the beginning:

"Well, she still looks like a porcelain doll."

Simko: "How was that movie (Up In The Air) anyway?"

Me: "I wasn't that into it, actually. But this girl was great in it."

Woah, Sophia is still around?

"What do we think of these two?"

"We don't."

"I love her, but what is that dress?"

"Is it me or have they shown her a ridiculous amount tonight?"

"Do you watch this show?"

"Yes. Love it."

"Good me too. Glad we have that settled."

"We've got another non-ager on our hands."

"Is she drunk?"

"Have her teeth separated? It must be from moving to the ranch."

"She's still a Pretty Women"

"Talk about a pretty woman..."

"Am I the only one that hasn't seen this movie?"

"Yep."

"Is he stoned?"

"Look at her Tatt!"

"Well it's the best she's looked in a long time."

"Yeah but this speech...I can't tell if it's incredibly adorbs or completely annoying."

"Cameron Diaz is smoking. How many hours a day do you think she works out?"

"Awwwk-ward. Jen please leave your thighs out of this."

"She can't tell how she feels. Is she excited? Is she happy?'

"We will never know. She did choose to bring out her rainbow glasses for the event."

"zzzz"

"Purrrrty."

"Oh we love her IRL"

"Yeah but what is she wearing. Oop, ah, fumbling, ah okay she's saves herself (thanking NYC)."

"Halle, could you please keep them at home for just ONE award show. One. That's all we're asking for."

"Is that thing missing a back too?!"

"Paul looks like he's having fun....NOT."

"Oh these two..."

"Love Scorsese, but look at Leo!"

"I haven't peeled my eyes off him since he walked on the stage."

"Hilarious"

"He's one of those geniuses that is just totally f*cked up right?"

"Yes you are correct."

"There goes another Genius."

"I'm obsessed with the fact that he is still married to an older lady."

"I love the name SIGOURNEY WEAVER."

"She's like the perfect female for sci fi movies."

"Funniest man on Television."

"And the funniest woman."

"My love for Fey knows know boundaries."

"Well she looks chipper tonight."

"Is Mike Tyson's face really like that?!"

"Yes, more importantly, look at Bradley Cooper!"

"That is a man that knows how to wear a pair of pants."

"I wish that he would date Heather Graham instead of Renee."

"Yes they would be hot together."

"I so enjoyed this movie."

"She Precious."

"I just dont know what it is about her, but I find myself liking her."

"It's because she seems like she could be your actual friend in real life."

"Yeah you're right, she seems more normal than the rest somehow."

"Also, my dad's employee looks EXACTLY like her. That's what does it for me."

"I love how Matt Damon's wife is so normal looking."

"Dear Lod."

"The problem is, they have been with so many super models, they will never go back to mortal land."

"Aaaand that's a rap. Blue people take over the world. Okay pass the wine, time to catch up on Jersey Shore."

"Should we call Munson over?"

"Obviously"