A Less Than Incredible Experience At Verizon/HTC's "Incredible" Event

What do high-tech smartphones, half-naked cabaret dancers and liberal amounts of free vodka have in common? Unless you've stumbled into an Apple board meeting, it probably means that you were at the Verizon/HTC "Incredible" event last night at the infamous Voyeur.  And the only thing about it that qualified as 'incredible' was the level of tackiness events like this are able to achieve...

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If you were lucky enough to make your way past the glare of the flashbulbs and the fire-breathing door staff, you were treated to a bacchanalia worthy of the Republican National Committee. Beneath the trademark scantily-clad dancers writhing overhead, an energetic crowd of West Hollywood partygoers, celebrities and Hilton sisters downed complimentary Svedka cocktails and danced the night away to high-energy DJ sets augmented by live musical accompaniment. All the while, an extremely dedicated cadre of Verizon staff circulated throughout the room, displaying the legitimately impressive features of the brand new, Android-based Incredible smartphone. Although it was unquestionably a difficult environment in which to make a sales pitch, the boozy atmosphere had a distinct edge over your typical Verizon store, which we'd liken to Hell's waiting room (and anyone who's ever been to one can tell you the same thing). To complete the technological celebration, a pristine Incredible was raffled off- via text message.

As last call approached and the partygoers spilled out onto Santa Monica Boulevard (and, by the looks of the Mercedes and BMW packed drive-thru line, proceeded directly to the nearby Carl's Jr), the cabaret's sole male performer, a shirtless guy on four-foot stilts with Bowie-esque facepaint, slumped against the stage and let out a long, exhausted sigh. Make no mistake--being Incredible is hard work.

[Stephanie Pratt photo by Scott Kirkland/Globe Photos via]