James Franco On His Homemade Porno With Conan

James Franco is not a porn star. Honest mistake, given the porno 'stache he's been seen sporting on occasion, plus the fact that he's basically tried every other artistic career possible. Really, it would seem like only a matter of time before he busted out with some sort of high-minded, porn-as-art skin flick that would make the Cremaster Cycle look like VeggieTales. But as the non-ape half of Rise of the Planet of the Apes told Conan last night, he did experiment once with a little amateur, um, filmmaking, with decidedly mixed results.

See, to hear Franco tell it, as a young actor (remember how we reported on his youthful employment struggles?) he and a girlfriend videotaped themselves in the throes of passion, only to be somewhat underwhelmed by the results. The upswing? He gained a newfound appreciation for the skill and effort of those hardworking men and women that make up the American pornography industry. Check it out:

Now, as disappointed as we all are that we'll never get to see a James Franco porno, with its oh-so-artsy production values, I think the real problem here is that James Franco is clearly getting bored. I guess the whole actor/model/author/poet/photographer/musician thing can get pretty stale, but we as a people need to find a new way to engage this precious, precious talent, or else we run the risk of losing him forever. Can we get this guy a Game Boy or something?

[photo via, video via]