"Best $2k I Ever Spent" Guide To Partying On A School Night Pt. I

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High schoolers really don't get enough credit. In a society that claims to value initiative and ingenuity, where is the praise for those brave underage warriors who selflessly risk getting grounded, all to provide their friends and classmates a place in which to get blackout? With all due respect to war veterans, religious leaders and Christopher Columbus, can't we squeeze one extra holiday onto the calendar to pay tribute to these 17-year-old weekend heroes?

You think it's easy to get 25 trashed sophomores out of the house in 15 minutes when Mom and Dad walk out of the movie halfway through? To scrub every last puke stain out of the micro-suede love seat? To explain that the dog keeps walking into the wall not because it was his turn on the gravity bong, but just because he's tired? These kids work hard to have a good time without doing time.

So, as we explore the School Night! Afterparty for Florence & The Machine at Bardot, let's supplement our journey with some quality advice for the youngsters that still have to fight for their right to party.

Keep The Invites Tight

Sure, you want to build a rep for throwing killer parties, and everyone knows it's impossible to get laid if nobody shows up (note: if you are in high school, it is impossible to get laid anyway). But research shows that for every one high schooler invited to an illicit drinking party, there is an average return of four additional students, plus the entire football team of another high school.

Invite your friends

Anticipate a larger crowd anyway

Avoid advertising it so much that your creepy uncle shows up with his hunting buddies. Nobody wants that.

Take Pictures First

In the haze of cleanup, figuring out how to put things back the way they were can spell disaster. Mom and Dad may still use AOL, but that doesn't mean they won't know something's amiss when they find your great uncle's ashes in the cereal cabinet. Solution:

Take digital photos of every room in the house prior to the festivities, turning the cleanup into one easy paint-by-numbers as you guide everything back to its right place.

We'll leave you to absorb this first bit of sage advice. Be sure to check back for Part II of Partying On A School Night where we'll fill you in on the rest.