"Best $2k I Ever Spent!" An Investigation Of Hair At Bardot

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Let's talk for a second about hair. As anyone from Larry David to Pauly D could tell you, your hairstyle lets others form an immediate and lasting impression of you as a human being. It can instantly label you as a dork, a rebel, or in the case of Justin Bieber, a 45-year old lesbian.

Bottom line: hair matters. And here in L.A., many young people value their style and originality. These two concepts do not always coexist peacefully. Let's use our observations from La Boum at Bardot to launch a deeper investigation into these crimes of the coif.

Ideally, hair should not look like it could be picked up by the edges and removed from the head like a loose-fitting hat. This is what separates us from the Lego Men.

The pencil-'stache with the mullet tells the world, "I may keep the business in the front and the party in the back, but partying is my business."

When I was about 13 and just discovering the internet, I went on Compuserve and downloaded some naked pictures of Demi Moore that were taken in the 1980's. I guess what I'm trying to say is, this guy has a hell of a beard.

You know those services that mold the faces of yuppie parents together so they can guess what their child will look like? This photograph accomplishes the same effect naturally.