Snooki Is Reading Her First Book

Snooki's all grown up! Jersey Shore's breakout starlet just confessed to curling up with her first ever novel. And because obscure po-mo scribe Nicholas Sparks needs a celebrity cheerleader, our girl's decided to get the word out about Dear John! What's next on the guidette's reading list?

Joe College: Middle class Jersey boy struggles to fit in with the blue bloods at Yale. Sounds a lot like Vinnie as he pines for admission to the New Haven lock manufacturer.

The Prince: Written by an Italian political theorist (named Machiavelli, not The Situation), "The Prince" is all about gaining and maintaining power by any means necessary. Perfect for Snooki as she prepares to shoot the second season of her blockbuster show and reportedly angles for her own spin-off.

Cop Without A Badge: Charles Kipps's biography of "excitement junkie" and police informant Kevin Maher was collecting dust in the remainders bin before The Real Housewives of New Jersey dragged it back into the spotlight.  The book's druggie, slutty revelations about Housewife Danielle Staub nearly killed her reputation. Hopefully, the young Snooki can learn from Staub's mistakes before being called a "prostitution whore" on her road to stardom.

Portnoy's Complaint: Author Philip Roth, the Bard of Newark, defines the titular complaint as "a disorder in which strongly-felt ethical and altruistic impulses are perpetually warring with extreme sexual longings, often of a perverse nature." Snooki might not have broadcast her altruism as much as her fake n' bake tan last season, but is horny for "gorillas," so she's got the latter part down.

Jersey Shore: Vintage Images of Bygone Days: As Seaside Heights dances a collective jig over the cast's containment in Miami (we think) for Season 2 production, Snickers and pals can recall what once was and may never be again.