@YesImWaspy Is this World Cup shit almost over? I keep getting woken up by my fucking garden staff screaming GOOOOOAAAAALLLL every morning. Enough! Thu Jul 8 12:18:49 2010 via web
If someone tells you a way to make a bunch of money before anyone else, thats not insider trading. Thats called a FRIEND!...your honor. about 1 hour ago via web
For our anniversary my girlfriend and I decided to give gifts that would improve the other. She got me cook book. I got her a shake weight. about 3 hours ago via web
Overheard my fat sister crying to her shrink about how hard it was growing up. Yeah, getting everything and eating cake was a real struggle. 12:05 PM Jul 12th via web
I would say my drug and alcohol problem makes my ability to have sex in under 2 minutes some kind of performance art. 3:05 PM Jul 9th via web
Why do strippers call themselves "Dancers"? I went to dancing school for 3 years and never had a set of jugs rubbed in my face. #yesimwaspy 1:18 PM Jul 6th via web
Having sex with my girlfriend is about as action packed as "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" #yesimwaspy 12:23 AM Jul 4th via web
I've traded cashmere sweaters for drugs #yesimwaspy about 15 hours ago via web
[Via @YesImWaspy on Twitter]